When people have plenty of people around them but still feel lonely – it’s likely to be because the majority of their relationships don’t run deep enough. For example, you could have 50 acquaintances that you regularly say hi to and have a chat with – but if you don’t have any shared interests or experiences, then you won’t be able to create strong and meaningful bonds with these people.
Similarly, if you have a loving family and partner but they cannot fully relate to something you’re particularly passionate about, or are going through, then you might feel lonely because you feel misunderstood – or because there isn’t anyone in your life who can share your passion.
As we age, we evolve and develop new interests and passions, and not everyone who’s already in your life will share in these. So sometimes, we have to make a conscious effort to make new friends and connections as our interests branch out.
For this reason, it can be a good idea to spend some time doing some self-exploration. Consider what really matters to you in life – what are your passions, interests, and core values? Once you identify these things it can become easier to connect with like-minded people.
For example, if you’ve recently developed a passion for oil painting, then it might be helpful to join an art community or class, where you can meet other artists. Or if you are particularly passionate about fitness, then you could try joining a running or cycling community – or attending a gym class. You can find more tips in our article 7 different ways to meet new people, or head over to the Rest Less community forum to connect with other members.
Sometimes, your relationships can act like a bit of a jigsaw, where each high-quality relationship that we form can act like an important piece of the puzzle. When there’s an important aspect of your life that you would perhaps like to share with someone but can’t, then it’s as though a piece of your puzzle is missing – causing you to feel lonely.
A helpful way to combat this is to try to get to the bottom of which aspect of your life is causing you to feel most lonely. This will place you in a better position to start considering how to form meaningful, high-quality relationships in this area.